let's head home...let's make sense

This is the story of how my cousin got banned from church plays when we were kids. They were doing a nativity play around Christmastime and he wasn’t too happy about his part, he had wanted the lead role of Joesph but instead got the part of the angry proprietor who refuses to give Mary and Joe a room in his hotel, literally the only bad guy in that play.  He begged for the organizer to give him another part, unfortunately there were no other parts and the day came when he had to perform.

Mary and Joe roll on up to the hotel, knock three times and the angry proprietor is suppose to come out, look them over, yell out “No Vacancy” and slam the door.  But instead…

Mary and Joe roll up on to the hotel, knock three times and my cousin opens up, smiling ear to ear

“Well hello folks, you look like nice people, how you doing tonight? Do you need a room?”

“Yes, do you have any vacancy?”

“Of course we’ve got plenty of rooms!!! Come on in!!! We’d love to have you!”

everyone was silent.  for a second I think people thought the Church was trying to rewrite the birth of Christ.  The look on actor Joe’s face was priceless, but Mary, oh good ole Mary….she took a step inside the fake hotel door, plugged her nose and stared into my cousins face with disgust…

“This place is disgusting.  There are rats on the floor and poop on the ceilings, we’d rather stay in the barn.” She grabbed good old Joe by the hand and stormed off.

And that is the story of how my cousin got banned from Church plays and how he became an atheist.

Every night when I go to bed I look over at my nightstand and see this derpy looking wolf.  GODDAMMIT MOON MOON!

Every night when I go to bed I look over at my nightstand and see this derpy looking wolf.  GODDAMMIT MOON MOON!

Slayer, The

Slayer, The

I came into the middle of a conversation in which someone was talking about Saved by the Bell and Kelly Kapowski but instead my brain heard Bukowski…and thus began the most confusing conversation of both of our lives.

Is it to much to ask for The Rock to upload a twitter pic of him making dinner in a wok with the caption “Can you smell what the wok is cooking?”

hahaha. So this woman ahead of me at the Walmart return center was trying to return her half eaten bag of chips…but that’s not even the best part. The best part is that she kept yelling out “this is my money, I want my money, it’s my money!” so I very loudly yelled out “AND I NEED IT NOW” …lady in front of me was confused, lady behind the counter just about lost it.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer houses…